Sucker Certificate^TM
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    Dear Sir/Ma'am: 

    Thanks for your emailed information.  However, please check out:  www.snopes.com xxxxx …..    With your submittal, you have just qualified for a Sucker Award Certificate (in one of three flavors): 

    Sucker-a-Minute Award:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There%27s_a_sucker_born_every_minute           

    Chicken-Little ("The sky is falling!") Award:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henny_Penny_%28fable%29         

    Boy-Who-Cried-Wolf Award:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boy_Who_Cried_Wolf                        

 

    Along with the certificate, you also win an exciting trip through the grocery store checkout line to pick out your favorite tabloid:  www.globemagazine.com, www.starmagazine.com, www.nationalenquirer.com, or http://weeklyworldnews.com

    You may present me with the bill for your favorite tabloid at the next group meeting.  Your only obligation will be to report to the group as to the meaning of life, as described by your choice of magazines (please bring it for display), and how it applies to our group.  You will also be entered into my annual Sucker Award contest.  Winner of this astounding annual contest will be judged by quantity and quality of false information he/she circulates to the group throughout the year.  If winner desires, picture of award presentation may be posted on our website!       

Yes, could this be you?!   

    Please note that this is an equal opportunity contest.  If I ever waste your time by sending you on a false-information, adrenalin-wasting wild-goose-chase, let me know and I’ll buy myself a tabloid!   :) 

    In thinking a little more about the Sucker Certificates, it came to me that another option might be made available: the Nigerian Nobel.  However, winners who choose this option will have to give me their SSN’s, bank info, and a modest down payment (house title) to cover the handling fee so that the $1,000,000,000,000 Nigerian Nobel prize can be released!  Go for the gold!  Why screw around with measly tabloids?! 

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    Note:  your Sucker Certificate medal/ribbon can be enhanced by a Hippo Hypothesis device/cluster.  Attaches by magnet: 

    Requirement for Hippo (pronounced "Hypocrite") Hypothesis is that you be guilty of the same you're arguing against:  eg, a person collecting or seeking one or more government incomes yet railing against socialism.  :)  :(  :) 

Please visit our friends at:      www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/sucker.asp  &   www.infomercialsucker.com

Click here to send Nigerian Nobel SSN's, bank details, etc., questions, or sucker nominations.  :)
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